The man who ate his house

I reserve special distain for people who wreck historic buildings , Rod has a lot in common with the Taliban and Islamic state . I thought about changing his name but who gives a fuck about him as he certainly does not care about his neighbours or the people of Rugby.

I suppose he was at one point a friend almost , he fell out with his band for some reason and was rumoured to be a candidate for cannabis psychosis , anyway he disappeared off the radar , I think he had an inheritance and purchased a house close to my old studio , I had been inside the house when it was rented briefly by Jason Pierce and Kate Radley , it was a charming cosy little Victorian end of terrace property that looked as if it had been for most of it’s life a shop , that was until Rod got hold of it and the madness began.

One night I was passing by the house and I could not believe my eyes , from the downstairs shop window an intense bright light shone out illuminating half the street , I approached the light and peered inside , Rod had decided to set up some sort of Home grow shop , at least that is what I think was the plan , inside was a jungle of vegetation , it looked strange , like a surreal art installation , no messages , products just vegetation and light , I wondered about his neighbours and why Rod had not been spoken to or had a brick through his window , it was like daylight in the street.

Anyway I thought I would just leave him to it , Rod began growing weed inside , my friend who worked behind the house in a garden centre was baffled by the smell which would creep into his work place, eventually Rod was busted , he represented himself and went straight to jail , unusual for a first timer but Rod did seem to have a knack for digging holes for himself .

A short spell in the big house did little to dull his enthusiasm for growing weed or aggravating his neighbours and once again they marched him off to the big house.
One day I was passing , the shop window was boarded up and the property looked derelict , I peered through the letter box , inside the lush vegetation had turned brown ,decayed and withered , then I saw Rod standing motionless amongst this room of dead leaves staring at me staring at him through the letter box , it looked like a set of an old horror film .

From that point on the real madness began , the theory goes that Rod decided that for him to be able to grow weed undetected by the public and The Police he would have to go underground , he hired a bunch of herberts to dig out his back garden and the monster hole appeared.
The hole was or still is I think the largest manmade hole in Rugby , he had no consideration for his neighbour who’s house now sat on the edge of a large precipice . It looked scary as if the next doors garden and house could slide into Rod’s pit at any moment .
The hole remained for years , one grey pissy day I walked past , Rod was deep inside the hole with a shovel vainly trying to move more dirt , I thought of King Canute for some reason , I almost felt sorry for him but the scale of destruction was huge , by then he had taken over a stretch of public road that ran along his house to the next street , it was a really handy short cut and gave the residents access to their garages , not anymore Rod’s insanity claimed the road.
That was the last straw for me but I thought either the local residents will take him out or the local authorities but it was going to get much worse.

I have no idea why the house began to disappear but it did , with so much earth removed from the garden I expected the foundations to be seriously undermined but I think the roof was the first to go , why ? he set fire to it ! What fucking idiot set’s fire to his own roof but anyway that is what I was told , so this poor building was decapitated then slowly dismantled brick by brick until nothing remained except the hideous pit , vacant machinery and shit , eventually it was barricaded and Rod installed something like a builders hut to live in at the bottom of what used to be his garden.

Since Rod embarked on his strange crusade the garden centre next to his house was sold , the land developed and now block’s of flats overlook his nightmare which is at least a decade long .
To repair the road , build a house and make good this piece of Rugby is an impossible task for a half baked hippy so it will never happen.

Anyway that is the story of the man who ate his house .

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