So you get old and grey or bald, people around you start dropping down dead, you don’t know if your midlife crisis has come, gone about to happen or if life is just one big midlife crisis.
What do you do to give your life some purpose, some excitement and meaning, how do you connect with that distant glowing ember of youth and vitality , you buy a Ducati Motorcycle.

I read a list of what blokes are supposed to do at this fragile point in life, buy a Ferrari was on the list, yeah like everyone can afford a Ferrari, and what use could you get out of one on the UK roads covered in fucking speed bumps but a Ducati, that’s a much better proposition I thought.

Here is a quick guide to buying a Ducati, the owners seem to be builders, plumbers, plasterers who buy a lot of weight gain and vitamin pills, old blokes who like nice cars and a bike they never ride but looks nice next to the Audi ,hard core knee down carbon fibre eating petrol heads and complete losers who happen to own a Ducati.

Vintage means a money pit, old means look at the wrong way and it will breakdown, leave it in the rain, the electrics will crap out, Ducati owners seem constantly paranoid about the bikes potential to commit hari kari .
This is a possible scenario, the alternator nut may come loose, there maybe bits of flaky chrome mashed up inside the engine, the dreaded cam belts could need replacing although they probably don’t and it goes on and on.
The cost of an annual service on some Ducati models is very high but they say ride a Ducati and it will put a smile on your face, not when you get the service bill.

Ducati’s are the motorcycling world’s crack cocaine, guaranteed to fuck you up one way or another but still you want it.
When the day comes and finally get it will you continue to want it , maybe not. When it takes ages to get out of town to the nearest piece of road where you can get out of first gear, and that almost limitless power and torque that scares the shit out of you.

But any motorcycle riders would be lying if they said they have no feelings for a Ducati and I have, so I wait until the right one comes along or maybe I stick with Triumph, a fiery Italian temptress or a Midlands triple cylinder fuck buddy ?


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