BASSMAN USA ELECTION SPECIAL

‘Hey Vlad, you heard the latest Trump joke?’
‘No tell me.’

Vladimir Putin is in hysterics, ‘Ha, ha, ha you guy’s kill me with these Trump jokes.’

In the USA the neatly manicured orange mug of Donald Trump stalks everyone’s sub conscious, ‘I’m going to make America Great again, really great.’

Elections are divisive and don’t we know it, thanks to a frog faced fuck wit and a bunch of paranoid retro minded idealists the UK is sailing off back to the 1970’s.

Trump is a horror show, I though about comparing him to an Orangutan and Godzilla but then I thought, Orangutan’s are cool, have you ever seen an angry Orangutan? and anyone remember Clyde the Orangutan and Clint Eastwood in Everyway Which Way But Loose? and Godzilla is also cool especially the one in the Chewits advert.
You don’t need to compare Donald Trump to anyone or thing, he is his own special breed of human dung, an uber psycho capitalist pig.

He will certainly not make anything great again especially the Scottish sand dunes he massacred to build his golf course.
The Scots should build a Donald Trump themed crazy golf course in honour of their stupidity in trusting him, 6k new jobs,sure!

So what if Donald wins? War, pestilence, madness, confusion, the immediate breakdown of modern civilisation? Probably, in small amounts.
The term super power might not be relevant anymore, that word would be rendered impotent with the Don in charge, be like a monkey with a machine gun, deadly but funny as fuck.

The only serious assassination attempt was by an English guy, Michael Steven Sandford, typical Brit, instead of buying a gun he decides to save the money and steal one from a police officer, suffice to say he failed and is now looking at a ten stretch in the cellar of Trump tower.

The most recent attempt was a false alarm which was lucky for Don because Lee Harvey Oswald could of pulled off at least a dozen shots in the time it took to get him off the stage.

Meanwhile Vladimir Putin is still hanging with the guys knocking back vodka and cracking Trump jokes.

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